Name Ideas For Gender-Free Babies

By now, you’ve probably heard about the Canadian couple who are raising their baby without ever telling anyone what gender it is.  This is because they don’t want to shackle the poor little dear with the world’s cruel rules for the different sexes, and definitely not at all because they are weird hippie publicity seekers who are willing to mess with their child’s life just so they can be on the cutting edge of social coolness. 

The parents named their baby Storm, as that can’t identify either gender (or, for that matter, if it’s even human…but at least it’s still better than Moon Unit).  They say that, “We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation.”

Word.  I also can’t stand the fact that society chooses to limit women by making them sit down to pee, and have ovaries.  Men, of course, are similarly coerced into arbitrary stereotypes, like society’s totally biased and unfair demand that they have a higher rate of prostate cancer than women.  I wish we could be more enlightened. 

Should this Canadian couple have another boy, for example, here are some good, genderless names they might consider: It, Thing, That, You, Hey You, Person (or Persyn), Social Pariah, Unfortunate Victim of Politically Correct Experiment, Psych Ward Patient #6, or (after he turns 18 and makes a quick trip to City Hall’s Department of Records) Joe.   

Should Storm turn out to be a girl, though, (and accept the fact!), she could always join the X-Men.