Mr. Kettle, Meet President Super Pot

By far my favorite ad in the presidential campaign so far has been this recent Obama commercial.  It’s hilarious.  It slams Romney for, allegedly, racking up a lot of debt and failing to create jobs.

So, um…is the Obama camp saying that if someone doesn’t create jobs and especially if they run up a ton of debt, that person is unfit to be president?  Because…yeah.

NPR Irony

My local NPR station mingled its glowing Occupy Wall Street coverage over the last few weeks with a pledge drive.  A few days ago, I heard the station manager declare the drive at an end.  Then she noted that fully a quarter of the drive’s funding came from “corporate sponsors.”  She thanked them profusely.

Now that the pledge drive has finished, NPR can return to singing the praises of anti-corporate protesters.

Current Events Irony

It is wrong to hate minorities and to pick on people who are different from you, unless the minority you’re picking on is the rich.  Then, apparently, it’s an important civic responsibility to publicly harass them.  If you aren’t kind enough to a politically correct group, you’re a bigot and a bully.  If you openly slander and threaten the rich, you’re an activist.

Ironic Rhetoric Advances the Book of Mormon’s Thesis

3 Nephi 27:14 is one of the more rhetorically clever verses in the Book of Mormon.  It features an ironic parallelism that explains the point of the Atonement while emphasizing its apparent absurdity.

And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil—

The part in bold is what’s so impressive.  There are several other passages in scripture that speak of Christ being “lifted up” in crucifixion, and a few of those link that with the salvation of mankind, but this verse uses the phrase “lifted up” twice, first to describe the sacrifice of the life of Jesus Christ, and then to summarize the Father’s ultimate goal of saving mankind. 

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Student Irony

Remind students at the beginning and end of class every day for two weeks that there will be a test, give them a flier as a reminder, write it on the board, and post it on the school website, and when the day comes, they’ll have no idea what you’re talking about.  “What?  There’s a test?  Why didn’t you tell us?” 

But ask them when their days off school are this year, and they’ll know, off the top of their heads, every single one, months in advance, with no reminders at all.

Computer Irony

Every silly little thing you do on a computer will be preserved permanently and come back to embarrass you dozens of years from now, but anything truly important that you’re working on is liable to fall victim to some accident that deletes it from the universe forever!  How does this electronic machine know to save your grungy college pictures somewhere, but to crash just as you’re finishing that big report for your boss?

Ironic Factories and Parks

What does this say about our modern age?  Las Vegas, like most big cities, is home to:

  • an Old Spaghetti Factory
  • a Cheesecake Factory
  • a Sushi Factory
  • a Tan Factory
  • an Ethel M. Chocolate Factory
  • a “BratWorks” (a kind of mechanized sausage assembly line, it seems)
  • and even an Arts Factory

Alongside all of these, we also have dozens of office-oriented mini-malls called “business parks.”

So, contemporary urban cityscapes are places where one can find art and junk food at factories, but financial transactions take place in ugly concrete-and-stucco parks.  Weird.

Journal FAIL

dbjournal1Several years ago, I bought this binder at Deseret Book to hold pages for my journal.  If you can’t read the Bible verse on the cover, it’s Isaiah 30:8, which says, “Now go, write it before them in a table, and note it in a book, that it may be for the time to come for ever and ever.”  Seems like a pretty appropriate verse, right?

Then I actually read Isaiah chapter 30.  In context, that verse is the Lord telling Isaiah to keep a carefully detailed record of rebellious Israel’s sins, so that future generations might know that God was justified in destroying the wicked. 

And this is supposed to inspire us to want to keep a journal of what we do in our lives?

New LDS-themed Humor Blog

For the last few weeks, my friend Steve and I have been putting together a new blog poking fun at the foibles of Mormon society (target of our first entry: the tendency of Mormons to poke fun at the foibles of Mormon society–because what the world really needs now is more self-referential irony.) 

It’s starting to pick up steam (I’m told Eric Snider liked it, but I can’t document that until I finish hacking his hard drive, and I can’t do that until I figure out how to turn on my computer by myself), so start checking it out now so you can tell your friends that you were a fan of it before the authors went insane with fame and power and got blown up in that terrible silly string incident at Toys R’ Us. 

The Official Guide To Stuff Mormons Like