Let’s Try To Talk To Bob!

I just sent the following email to “bob@aol.com,” a complete stranger who I can only assume exists.  I remember in college in the mid to late 90’s, there were plenty of people who figured that all email addresses were “@aol.com,” so it makes sense that some awesome individual snatched up “bob” in fairly short order.

Hello, “Bob,” you don’t know me; I’m just a random blogger who wondered how awesome someone would have to be, and just what a plugged in, far-seeing, cutting edge type they would have to be, in order to have an email address as basic as “bob@aol.com.”  That one must have gone pretty quickly!  I figure you must have registered this address no later than 1995. 

Would you be willing to answer a few quick questions for me and my readers?  I can only imagine that you must be a fascinating person, and I’d like to know some more about you.  Certainly, no personal information is needed.  Thank you in advance for your time and any help you can give.

1.  When did you register this address?

2.  Has anyone ever tried to get you to give it away, or buy it from you? 

3.  Do you get a lot of emails like this one, or spam, or email meant for someone else?

4.  What other interesting experiences have you had as “bob@aol.com?”
5.  Anything else you’d care to share with us?

Thanks again for satisfying our curiosity! 

I’ll let you know what response I get.

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“Email English” Example

Perhaps I don’t do Facebook or Twitter because I’d obsessively demand proper grammar and punctuation at all times.  Shorthand conventions be darned; all written communication should conform to professional standards, I say! 

This morning I got the following email.  The author sent it to a girl’s math teacher, and copied it to me because she wanted her daughter to be able to come in to my class late. 

Mr. ________,

__________ is coming in to take that test when you two decided would be a good time.  Please give her a pass to Mr. Huston class she was worried about getting into his class.

Oh dear.  Awkward phrasing in the first sentence gives way to an outright atrocious second sentence, such as it is: a run-on with a missing possessive. 

 

On her signature line, I noticed that she works at a school.