Selling Kia-stine

Only at the very end, when I was selling my dumpy old Kia after 12 years of use and abuse, did I come up with that pun–that I should have called that car Kia-stine. Old school Stephen King fans will get the joke.

Speaking of jokes, when I was selling it, I put up the following ad on Craigslist–I just messed around with it because I didn’t think anyone would really want it. The ad got a lot of positive feedback: one person texted and said, “I don’t want to buy the car, but great ad!” After some yahoos jerked us around about it, though, so I just ended up giving the car to the Make a Wish Foundation.

Anyway, preserved now for all eternity, is the Craigslist ad:

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“2004 Kia Optima LX In Truly Awful Condition”

Listen, folks, I’m not gonna lie here. This car is falling apart. It actually used to be a great car, and was for many years, but I ran it into the ground with minimal maintenance. I’m asking for only half of the “fair” listing in KBB.

PROS: It always starts and runs. Never a problem there.

Battery and tires are strong with plenty of life left in them.

V6 engine.

Has never exploded, caught on fire, divided by zero, committed a felony, or watched an Adam Sandler movie.

Radio gets some good stations to help distract you from all the cons.

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