Important Observations

primThe Awakening of Miss Prim wasn’t a majestic masterpiece, but it was a cute little story about a simpler, wholesome view of life. A church group or women’s book club would probably love it. I liked these two passages about living life well:

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Sexy Ribs?

Here is a screen shot from an article posted on the Las Vegas Sun web site on Monday.  It’s a picture of beauty contest winners.  Notice how skinny they are.  These girls aren’t just thin, they’re practically skeletal. 

Picking on the appearance of small women can be just as hurtful as insulting larger women, but I have to wonder if the physiques of the women in this picture are natural.  The one in the middle looks so anorexic that I’m honestly worried about her.  All five of them have their ribs sticking out quite prominently, but this poor lady almost looks like she’s sick. 

They won a beauty contest?  Their faces are all pretty, sure, but I can’t imagine how much punishment they must have put themselves through to emaciate their bodies so much.  Call me crazy, but my vision of female beauty includes curves, substance, and health. 

 

The T Scale

There are many measurement systems out there–from calories to degrees to pounds–but there hasn’t been one to objectively rate the beauty or perfection of things until now.

Using a complex scientific formula, I’ve found a way to quantify beauty and perfection. My results are measured along what I call, for reasons that don’t concern you, the T scale, where the standard for ultimate beauty and perfection are equal to exactly one whole unit of T.

For example, something that had previously only been admired as vaguely “gorgeous,” such as Paris, can now be determined with atomic accuracy as worth exactly .33 T, or one-third of T.

Other things that entail great beauty and approach perfection can now to be statistically categorized along the T scale. A sampling of results is below:

The Mona Lisa = 0.44 T

Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony = 0.88 T

Marilyn Monroe = 0.75 T

A sunrise over a clear mountain lake, just as the leaves are turning colors in the early Fall = 0.83 T

The flawless geometry of Stonehenge and the Great Pyramid = 0.76 T

A gentle chorus of angels humming your favorite lullaby = 0.55 T

Audrey Hepburn = 0.81 T

The ceiling of the Sistene Chapel = 0.91 T

Amy Winehouse = -0.29 T

A double-double cheeseburger from In-N-Out, animal style = 0.71 T

You get the idea.

Other men might be tempted to substitute another letter for T as their barometer of beauty, but they would be wrong.

This is science, people. You can’t argue with science.