Hospital Humor

My 86-year-old father has been in the hospital for the last week.  He’s stable and comfortable, but will likely be there for a while.

Spirits are relatively high, though.  When I went in on Saturday, two nurses were changing his linens, meaning his legs were left bare for a bit.  “We’ll cover you back up,” one said.  My dad’s reply was, “Just be sure to cover me with a blanket, not dirt.”

Ladies and gentlemen: my dad.

When I dropped in after work yesterday, he was asleep, so I left a note: I took a bit of toilet paper and the marker from the nurse’s whiteboard in the room, and wrote: “This man needs 50 cc’s of BEER…stat!”  I scribbled on the bottom (because doctors have bad handwriting! Ha ha!) and left it on the whiteboard for him to get a chuckle out of.

A nurse saw it first and took it seriously.  She asked the doctor about it (and here I learned that the random number I’d picked–50 cc’s–is only about two ounces), and the doctor said, “I didn’t write it, but go ahead and let him have some; it won’t hurt.”

But alas, the old guy still hasn’t gotten any.  Sorry, Dad.  I tried.

On a more curious note, is it common for doctors to write emergency prescriptions for beer in blue marker on toilet paper and leave them hanging in patients’ rooms?  I had no idea I was perpetrating such a credible hoax.

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