My kids often ask me to make up little stories as I tuck them in at night. Tonight’s was pretty good:
Once upon a time there was a magic warrior giant. But this story isn’t about him.
The magic giant had a giant magic dog. But this story isn’t about him, either.
The dog had a nail on his left big toe that could think and talk and cast spells. This story is about him. It’s called, “The Magic Toenail.”
The toenail had a sweet life, what with being magic and not having to go to school and all. Everything was peaceful, until one day when a UFO landed in front of their castle. Oh, by the way, they lived in a castle.
Gross purple aliens came out and started looking around.
“Are you here to see me?” asked the giant. But the aliens didn’t say anything.
“Are you here to see me?” asked the dog. But the aliens didn’t say anything.
“Are you here to see me?” asked the toenail. Then the aliens did a happy dance and said, “Finally! We’ve been looking all over the universe for a magic toenail! Our favorite planet has been invaded by a super monster whose only weakness is magic toenails! Will you please come help us?”
The toenail paused a moment to ponder the situation. As he squinted and stared off into the distance, he nodded slowly and said, “Yes, I will help you.”
So they all piled into the UFO and took off. The giant and the dog came, too; the giant because he thought it would be a fun ride, and the dog because he was attached to the toenail.
They landed on the alien planet and opened the door. The giant poked his head out and the super monster said, “Big deal.”
The dog poked his head out and the monster said, “So what?”
Then the toenail peeked out and the monster said, “Oh no! A magic toenail! I’m doomed!”
The toenail chanted the words to a powerful spell that melts alien super monsters. The monster melted and everybody was happy.
The aliens were so grateful that they gave the toenail a pedicure with purple polish, a spiffy little hat, and year’s free supply of Toenail Chow.