Pretty soon I’ll be introducing my high school juniors to Benjamin Franklin, inventor, statesman, and sage. Of course, there’s so much to his famously irreverent sense of humor that I can’t really get into with them. Two of my favorites:
1. A list of more than 200 synonyms for “drunk.”
He’s got a Dish,
Kill’d his Dog,
Took his Drops,
It is a Dark Day with him,
He’s a Dead Man,
Has Dipp’d his Bill,
He’s seen the Devil,
2. This letter, where he lists reasons why it’s better to have an affair with a mature woman than a young one. Observe:
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.
8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!