Afterlife Chit Chat

When you meet new people, there’s a standard set of things to talk about as you get to know each other:  Where are you from?  What do you do for work?  How often do you clip your toenails? 

I figure in the afterlife, the same thing probably still holds, but the first ice breaker question is: So, how did you die?  It’s an interesting thing that everyone there will have in common.

And just like here, some people will be more interesting than others.  Most people will have plain, boring answers.  “Heart attack.”  “Old age.”  “Lung cancer.”  Followed by typical afterlife chit chat: “Oh, I died of cancer, too!  Well, not lung cancer, but pancreatic.  Have you met my cousin Leon?  He had lung cancer.” 

But some guys will have awesome stories that will make them the hit of every heavenly party: “Dude, I died fighting a bear.”  Everyone will gather around to hear his story. 

That’s why I want to die fighting a bear.  It might be painful, but I’ll have a great story to tell forever. 

And somewhere in history, you know there’s some poor schlub who died by, say, accidentally shooting himself, or falling into an outhouse and drowning.  Guys like this will have to spend the rest of eternity starting new conversations with, “Me?  Oh, um…I died fighting a bear.”


4 comments on “Afterlife Chit Chat

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