Teenage Poet Laureate Complains His Way To Fame

The student body president of a local high school wanted to rap his speech at graduation.  The principal said no.  A lot of local media took the young man’s side, so now he gets to do what he wants.  How do I know this?  How did the media find out?  Because the kid went to them and whined his way into the spotlight, of course! 

Good to know our best and brightest have learned this great lesson during their training at our fine institutions of education: if you don’t get your way, complain publicly until the authorities give in so you’ll go away.

Now, the school won’t openly discuss exactly why they wanted to prohibit this “speech,” but after seeing two excerpts in the news (here and here), I think I can tell why: it’s awful. 

Even for a rap. 

What school wants to advertise the fact that after four years there, one of their student leaders is only capable of producing writing like this:

“Take a walk with me down memory lane.

We were first freshman, the bottom of the food chain,

rushing to class hoping seniors won’t stuff us in the trash…

Now it’s here.

It’s our senior year,

the last four years just seem to disappear.”

“Class of two zero one one, these last four years have been so much fun, but it is all over, high school is done, it’s time for the world where life has just begun.”

Granted, it’s not that much more banal than your average high school graduation speech, but the format just draws attention to how lame it is, don’t you think?

How am I comfortable making fun of the work of a student I don’t even know?  Hey, this guy is 18 and he went to the press looking for fame.  He got it. 

By the way, at the links above you can even see clips of him practicing his rap.  Hilarious stuff.  Eminem, eat your heart out.

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2 comments on “Teenage Poet Laureate Complains His Way To Fame

  1. Um Huston, we have a problem.

    I seem to remember you taking the local school board to task for mis-writing. Are you sure that this young man “wined his way into the spotlight” or did he whine?

  2. Zoinks! Egad! Wowsers! Yours truly has been caught with his grammatical pants around his ankles.

    As I’m not sure if the young man’s campaign involved alcohol or not, I’ve changed the offending item to the far more likely “whined.”

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