Name Ideas For Gender-Free Babies

By now, you’ve probably heard about the Canadian couple who are raising their baby without ever telling anyone what gender it is.  This is because they don’t want to shackle the poor little dear with the world’s cruel rules for the different sexes, and definitely not at all because they are weird hippie publicity seekers who are willing to mess with their child’s life just so they can be on the cutting edge of social coolness. 

The parents named their baby Storm, as that can’t identify either gender (or, for that matter, if it’s even human…but at least it’s still better than Moon Unit).  They say that, “We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation.”

Word.  I also can’t stand the fact that society chooses to limit women by making them sit down to pee, and have ovaries.  Men, of course, are similarly coerced into arbitrary stereotypes, like society’s totally biased and unfair demand that they have a higher rate of prostate cancer than women.  I wish we could be more enlightened. 

Should this Canadian couple have another boy, for example, here are some good, genderless names they might consider: It, Thing, That, You, Hey You, Person (or Persyn), Social Pariah, Unfortunate Victim of Politically Correct Experiment, Psych Ward Patient #6, or (after he turns 18 and makes a quick trip to City Hall’s Department of Records) Joe.   

Should Storm turn out to be a girl, though, (and accept the fact!), she could always join the X-Men.

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5 comments on “Name Ideas For Gender-Free Babies

  1. While I see your point I think what these parents are doing has a degree of merit. Forcing an infant to feel or be something that does not come naturally seems cruel to me. There are far too many expectations and pressures placed on children early in their life and from the moment they’re born they are taught how they are “supposed” to act and feel. I do, however, question these parents motives by making their decision a matter of public concern to be debated by the masses. The truth is … it’s none of our business. Personally, I think routine circumcision of male infants or ear-piercing of female infants is more damaging to the development of healthy children.

  2. Thanks for these thoughts, friends, but…”Something that does not come naturally”? What could possibly be more natural than gender?

  3. By all means let the kid do what comes natural. Don’t castegate, but celebrate the natural man.

    For a couple of days, we coudn’t decide on a name for our 6th child. So, I told people that we had named her Generica (as in generic, the ‘no name baby’).

  4. Tsk, tsk, old friend, that’s still clearly a feminine name. :) But you’re on to a good idea there–giving babies names at all is a recognition that they exist, which is really kind of limiting and judgmental, isn’t it?

    When oh when will we be mature enough to let babies become cognizant of their existence when and how their own bliss dictates?

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