From the Holy Book of Teacheriah, an Epistle to the Unionians, chapter 5, verses 5-10:
5 And in that great and last day, there shall be a famine of public-sector budgets in the land, and the houses of learning shall be in mighty want;
6 And there shall arise many great heroes, like unto the saints of old, who shall go forth armed with self righteous power to do battle with the Anti-Nice, that fiend who fails to respond to demands for funding, and his legion of dragons, the Fiscally Conservative Beast;
7 But lo, and verily, those Holy Activists, clothed with authority by virtue of their indignation, shall cleanse the lepers and raise the dead, and they shall multiply the few scant dollars in the treasury to become many millions, that thus the ancient bureaucracy may continue to thrive;
8 And the evil enemies of deficit spending and punitive taxation, who clearly hate all the good young of the people, shall be vanquished and cast into outer darkness, that there they may see the light of our truth, and repent.
9 And then shall the heavens clave in twain, and the very seraphs of heaven shall blow their trumps, the hand of God shall be revealed, and all the good educational activists shall be caught up in glory to reap their pensions and salary schedules in spite of reality, and they shall be worshipped as the saints they are, for verily, emotional posturing is far greater in His sight than merely effective teaching despite mildly inconvenient conditions.
10 And (oh yeah) at this sacred time the many young of the land, who had largely failed before, shall suddenly become proficient geniuses. As if that matters. And so it shall be. Amen.
NOTE: Normally I don’t explain satirical posts, but as my colleague here has just printed something below, taking a different position on the same issue as this post, I feel I should comment. Yes, this is a coincidence–I thought of this post while driving home from work today, and drafted it before I saw my friend’s post, so it’s not a direct response. Second, I’m happy to have an alternate take on the subject appear here–my friend’s work represents an intelligent, principled, and well-writtten approach to important things. I’m always happy when this blog becomes a forum for quality exchanges.
As for my post itself, it was inspired by the public statements of a few local actvists, including Facebook posts by a group that’s dedicating a lot of time and energy fighting to maintain education funding in Nevada. There’s a legitimate place for that, but lately the tone of these posts has indulged in a lot of absolute moral vanity, to the point that I fear their work is now in danger of being divorced from a focus on educational integrity.
And, of course, it’s a reference to the recent spurt of interest in the Rapture.