In preparation for next week’s proficiency exams, the school district is distributing this pamphlet to high school students in the valley.
It’s one thing to remind students to get a good night’s rest, but…an exhaustive, illustrated guide to doing squats and lunges? A specific list of preferred healthy snacks, including Nature Valley “Chewy” Granola Bars (Oatmeal Raisin flavored, especially), and Nutri-Grain Banana Muffin Bars? Is the school district getting a kick back from this promotion or something?
I can just imagine some kid sixty years from now saying, “Grandma, what’s your secret to the great life you’ve had?”, and her answering, “Well, back when I was a sophomore in high school, they gave us these pamphlets about being healthy, and it changed my life. That piece of paper made me alter my entire lifestyle. Suddenly, I was a different person, and I cared for my life with the kind of independent maturity that can only come from a single handout one day at school.”
Kids might be lazy and ignorant, but they’re not stupid. How in the world can we expect them to take us–and our curricula–seriously when we give them stuff like this?