Parsing the Longest Sentence in the Book of Mormon

3 Nephi 21:1-7 is the longest sentence in the Book of Mormon, clocking in at 392 words.

It’s an odd section anyway, or so I thought when I first read it. Here we have none other than the resurrected Jesus Christ teaching the righteous survivors of an apocalyptic destruction. After a declaration of basic doctrines, a version of the Sermon on the Mount, and some beautiful healing and angelic ministering miracles, most of the rest of 3 Nephi focuses on the not-terribly-exciting subject of the gathering of Israel.

I used to find that anti-climactic. No parables, no conflict, no drama at all, really–most of the famous visit to the New World is a dry lesson on one aspect of the future.

And this sentence may be the weirdest part. Jesus tries to make a simple point, but seems to keep getting distracted and going back to start over. It’s easy to get lost in the jungle of syntax here.

I broke the passage up by highlighting some key repetitions and setting off parenthetical details, using colors and indenting. I think the major point comes across more clearly this way.

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The Prophet Option: A Mormon Review of The Benedict Option

41QY+zZAzfL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_If you’re an active Latter-day Saint with any interest in The Benedict Option, I have good news for you: you’re pretty much already living it.

Rod Dreher’s bestseller isn’t actually a tirade against American society–that’s too far gone to even really bother with at this point–it’s a call to arms to rescue what’s left of Christianity in the West. We do this, Dreher says, by ignoring the mainstream and living our religion fully.

Dreher is an excellent writer; his observations, anecdotes, and advice are all solid. Still, the formula he gives is surprisingly basic. The fact that this pattern is supposed to be a rebellious throwback to the seriousness of medieval monks is an even better illustration of how far we’ve gone astray than any gloom and doom statistic.

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Great Student Film From My School

I recently went to an evening awards show for the film department at the fantastic arts schools where I teach. Student films were shown on a big screen and awards were given, Oscar style.

All of them were at least good, and some were great–not just as “student films,” but as films, period. My favorite was this very impressive piece called “Only One.” Really, though, the whole catalog is worth checking out. Here’s their YouTube page:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAV42CYHo6Gd7KyYN6rod1w

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonder Woman is Basically Eve

Wonder Woman is a great movie, but I couldn’t help noticing how much it fits a scriptural template for Latter-day Saints:

(wee bit spoiler-y folks; you’ve been warned)

This movie is about a demi-goddess who’s the only one to recognize her evil demi-god brother. He’s trying to force humanity into his vision of paradise, but she ultimately realizes that all individuals are both good and bad and must choose love on their own. There are a lot of speeches about what we “deserve” vs. what we “believe” (with object lessons in justice vs. mercy). She and the man she loves inspire each other and set an example for others. She is part of the confrontation where the power of the gods casts her evil brother out. Then, she stays in the world of mortals to serve them and show them the way to love.

I wonder if the screenwriter consulted the Pearl of Great Price, or if this is just a coincidence!

Batman vs. Superman Just Sucks, Doesn’t It?

Batman_v_Superman_posterThe world doesn’t need yet another review saying the obvious, but I finally just watched it today, and holy moly, this movie is awful.

It’s a tedious, leaden, pompous, plodding mess of a movie. The dour, somber tone isn’t even level–it bounces around in degree every few minutes. Ditto for the pacing–mostly too slow (especially at the beginning), it often veers into quick summaries of scenes with hardly any context or relevance.

This movie breaks every known rule of grammar in the language of film!

Director Zack Snyder wants so badly to be the love child of Terrence Malick and Stanley Kubrick, but he just doesn’t know how to consistently balance his work like them.

Jesse Eisenberg’s version of Lex Luthor is just garbage. Seriously, who decided every interesting Hollywood character had to be ADD-addled and awkward? Eisenberg’s not a  bad actor, so I blame this one on Snyder, too.

Why was Wonder Woman there? Her presence is never really explained. She was on Luthor’s trail because…plot?

Did the Cinema Sins video for this movie have a Scowling Eyebrows Bonus Round?

Like the Star Wars prequels, the most infuriating part is that there’s clearly the kernel of a much better movie in here. How sad this opportunity got wasted.

Ugh. Congratulations, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. You’ve just entered the dubious pantheon of films that literally made me angry while watching them: Alien 3 and Batman and Robin are also members.

I have very little hope for Justice League.

Response To A Pro-Trump Meme

I fixed a meme I saw online last week by adding a quote from the Book of Mormon. I’m not comparing Trump to Mormon, I’m comparing the American people to the Nephites, perhaps in a similar state of civilizational decline. You’re looking for salvation in the wrong place, and it’s a sign of imminent collapse.

It bothers me how many people are openly praising Trump as a deliverer. That’s too close to idolatry for my taste. Those on the right who do this with Trump are no better off than those on the left who did it with Obama. Looking for a temporal savior never ends well.

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U2’s Joshua Tree Tour 2017 Reviewed

I saw U2 play the Rose Bowl on May 20. It was the fifth tour of theirs that I’ve seen, and it was the best overall. Here is the setlist.

Highlights: “A Sort of Homecoming,” “Mothers of the Disappeared,” American optimism theme, set design and video.

“Homecoming.” We’re in the middle of a big 80s nostalgia kick in America, and this new arrangement of a 1984 track is loaded with clever throwback synth sounds. Great version.

“Mothers.” Rarely played live at all, the somber, sonorous last song on The Joshua Tree appropriately resonated that night, acoustically and narratively. Would have been great to see Eddie Vedder, though, like Seattle got to!

The Joshua Tree is about America, the country and the hemisphere. Like the original album, this tour focused on the good, the bad, and the absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful. At points in the show, Bono called for unity (“From the party of Lincoln to the party of Kennedy…”), thanked American taxpayers for helping improve the global AIDS crisis, and called himself a “guest” in this country who felt like he was “coming home.”

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How Keeping the Sabbath Holy Is Like Being a Jedi

YodalukedagobahOne of Luke Skywalker’s frustrations in The Empire Strikes Back is that he is stuck on Dagobah while a war rages around the galaxy. His friends are racing away from the Empire while he’s standing on his head and lifting rocks in a lonely swamp. Giant ships play hide and seek among asteroids and face off against weird monsters, and he has to listen to proverbs from a little green preacher.

This is the life of a Christian on Sunday.

While the rest of the world continues to run around having adventures, those who would be spiritual warriors are quietly pondering ancient scriptures at home, listening to sermons in meetings, singing resolute and reverent hymns with a small community, and otherwise holding back from the normal fray in order to develop inner spiritual strength.

It’s often boring. It seems like a waste of time, just as Luke thought he was wasting his time. But such periodic training is necessary to really be ready for that fight of life during the rest of the week.

Standing on his head and lifting rocks was the best thing Luke could have been doing at that time–he needed it so he’d be able to resist the dark side and help his friends.

Ditto for us. We need the Sabbath and its observance. It may seem odd, but such time apart from the public battles is part of our life as disciples.

Student Notes, pt. 3

A few months ago a class took notes on a documentary about Moby Dick. One student turned in her notes with a message to me on the back. Part lament about her peers, part motivation directly to me, part celebration of the material we were studying, it’s that last part especially that makes me love this little letter.

Here it is, if you can’t read the text in the picture.

Looking around at students in this classroom, this regular, non-honors or AP classroom…I see some of the smartest people I have ever met, people who are witty and are charmed by life, but are not paying attention. They are either entrigued [sic] or completely indifferent, either way it’s because they are not encouraged. They see this book and they see a story about a whale, not a journey or the fight for truth; they have the potential, it’s all there, but no one asks them to care, they ask for completion, for quantity, to get things done. They are exhausted by the idea of looking deeper.

I see these students, full of wonder overshadowed by lack of will, then I see straight up uninterested, boring students who do the absolute minimum, sometimes less, and they are dumb. They don’t think about anything. They don’t think about any of this stuff. It doesn’t interest them. Instead, they are laughing loudly on purpose (for attention of course, to distract everyone else from the philosophy unfolding in front of them because it’s about them, and they like it that way).

Mr. Huston, don’t sell this stuff short, it’s exciting, it’s not uninteresting just because few people believe it is, this is important and wonderful.

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Favorites From the NPR 100

I just found some notes I made from a bucket list item I checked off a few years ago–listening to NPR’s 100 essential American recordings of the 20th century. I thought I’d blogged about this before, but apparently not.

Some of the items were familiar, but many were new to me. Here are my favorites from the ones I was hearing for the first time.

“Adagio for Strings” This beautifully ethereal piece is just magical. It’s heart rending and haunting.

 

“Ain’t That a Shame” Fun, early rock track.

 

“Blue Moon of Kentucky” An early bluegrass track with a legacy in folk and country music. Feeling connected to roots here.

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