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Posts Tagged ‘family’

The Odyssey on Living Well

Posted in Language and Literature, Living well, tagged , , , , on May 9, 2013 |

From the Robert Fagles translation

 

On family:

“And may the good gods give you all your heart desires:

husband, and house, and lasting harmony too.

No finer, greater gift in the world than that…

when man and woman posses their home, two minds,

two hearts that work as one.  Despair to their enemies,

a joy to all their friends.  Their own best claim to glory.”

Book 6, lines 198-203

On sports:

“It’s fit and proper for you to know your sports.

What greater glory attends a man, while he’s alive,

than what he wins with his racing feet and striving hands?”

Book 8, lines 169-171

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Will Liberals Agree to Call These Things Crazy?

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2013 |

I want to ask every progressive in America, especially those now in or seeking political office, to commit to the following ten-point statement:

I will not at any time endorse or participate in any social movement or advocate any legislative change that promotes:

• Legalizing incestuous relationships
• Legalizing polygamous relationships
• Legalizing sexual relationships with, or depictions of, minors under the current age of consent
• Granting animals any new legal rights currently reserved for humans
• Granting governments any new power, outside of taxation, to arbitrarily seize money held in accounts and investments of private citizens
• (more…)

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Family Matters

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , , , , on February 9, 2013 |

From a recent edition of NPR’s Talk of the Nation:

When you have very low fertility rates, it may be OK for a while, but over time your population gets older and older. And as your population gets older and older, as I think Stan was pointing out, what you start to see is, if you will, the ecosystem for families begins to weaken.

You have – the schools begin to close down. The kind of restaurants and facilities you have, the tax system has to change in order to support the older people. So there are a lot of things that happen. But fundamentally, it’s not like we can have the population we have now, and that population will be, in terms of age, like it is. It will be very old. You have to start thinking about societies by 2050, where there’ll be more people over 80 than under 15.

And

PATRICE: Well, in my circle of friends, I’m about 24 hours old, and when I talk to a lot of my friends, we – a lot of them don’t seem to be interested in having kids at all. You know, it’s sort of the concept is odd, or they just think oh, well, it’s – kids are expensive, and they’re going to tie me down, I’m not going to be able to have the lifestyle I want, kind of like the guest is saying.

(more…)

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On Exaltation, Unity, and Heavenly Mother

Posted in Religion, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2012 |

I recently read this excellent article, which defends the idea that female identity is essential to God’s plan of happiness.  One line in particular struck me as especially relevant for a train of thought that dominates some online discussions: an obsession with parsing speculations about Heavenly Mother.

[T]o assume that absence of mention is the same as absence is a logical fallacy…. it is possible to assert that whenever Elohim is mentioned, as it is in the creation story of Genesis (and by extension, the Pearl of Great Price), we are speaking of God, and “God” means an exalted woman and an exalted man married in the new and everlasting covenant of marriage (D&C 132…).  

Quite right.  Those who demand more insight into and some kind of interaction with Heavenly Mother have completely misunderstood the nature of God.  We can already know everything there is to know about her.

We know that exaltation requires a sealed marriage, and we also know that exaltation requires the kind of perfect unity enjoyed by Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.   (more…)

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Strong Families and the Success Cycle

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , , on April 7, 2012 | 5 Comments »

The best quote from the best article about Charles Murray’s new book about the facts regarding faith and family in America:

In addition, he says, the upper class needs to abandon its nonjudgmentalism, start “preaching what it practices,” and stop being afraid to send the rest of America messages such as: People should not be having children out of wedlock. Hard work and religious faith matter. Contrary to the image of the rich conveyed by celebrity news, they are committed to their families and live fairly tame lives, and that’s a big reason why they raise high-achieving children and have money.

 

 

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Social Science Research on Pornography

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , , , , on April 1, 2012 | 7 Comments »

Opposition to pornography has become associated with “prudish right-wing fundamentalists,” but as with many things, the growing body of social science research confirms that this debate should extend far beyond the boundaries of belief.

A recent editorial in National Review about Rick Santorum’s opposition to pornography links to several such important studies.  I’m less interested in Santorum’s desire to combat porn by government muscle than I am in bringing facts to an honest national conversation.  Follow the links if you want some truth:

Likewise, Santorum’s views on pornography are a natural extension of his views on marriage as a public good — a sacred, lifelong bond between man and woman, designed to unify the couple and create children who, in turn, will make faithful, committed spouses one day. Interestingly, Santorum’s position is consistent with a rapidly growing body of social-science research. The older idea of pornography as a harmless rite of passage for boys, and a potential boost for the sex lives of married couples, are being challenged by data which show a potential for real and measurable harm. Studies have revealed a clear connection between regular pornography use and a host of negative consequences, including: sexual deviancy (lower first age of intercourse, obsessive masturbation), belief in the “rape myth” (that women cause rape), and loss of interest in sex. More frequent users of pornography report higher incidences of having sex for money, substance abuse, conduct problems, and having feelings of sexual desire “almost all the time.” Among young adults, pornography use correlates with higher numbers of casual-sex partners and lower relationship satisfaction. Both infidelity and divorce have been linked to the use of pornography. But there is a striking dearth of longitudinal research on the latter relationship. NIH should fund a comprehensive, long-term research project devoted to the impact of pornography use on marriage and the family.

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Evaluating the Arguments For and Against Gay Marriage

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , , , , on March 3, 2012 | 1 Comment »

My attempt at an objective analysis of some popular points:

Pro-Gay Marriage Ban Arguments Evaluation Anti-Gay Marriage Ban Arguments Evaluation
“Homosexuality is morally wrong.” WEAK. While people have the right to campaign for laws based on their beliefs, civil laws are not obligated to honor them.  This opinion is actually irrelevant to the issue. “We’re born that way and should be treated equally.” WEAK.  Establishing that something is natural is not the same as showing that it’s good or deserves to be protected.  Further, while fairness is a virtue, equality is not automatically universal, but is dependent on a number of factors—insisting on immediate equality is an attempt to circumvent discussion.
“It would open doors to abuses like polygamy and bestiality.” WEAK.  Even if this actually would be the case, it would be irrelevant.  You can’t ban something because it might lead to something else.  The issue has to be considered only on its own merits. “Banning gay marriage fosters discrimination and harassment.” WEAK.  Like the opposing slippery slope argument to the left, even if this is true, it’s not relevant.  Laws are not based on whether or not they might be interpreted in ways that will lead to positive or negative behavior.  Certainly mistreatment of others is bad, but laws cannot be altered because they might contribute to a more civil citizenry.
(more…)

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The Global Genocide of Baby Girls

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , on January 18, 2012 | 1 Comment »

All abortions are not created equal.  The numbers are chilling: around the world, babies prenatally identified as female are far, far more likely to be aborted than male babies.  This has resulted in many major societies now having a huge imbalance in genders: there are way too many young men and not nearly enough young women.

This summary of the situation in The New Atlantis adds up the birth dearth: “The unnatural ‘girl deficit’ for females 0-19 years of age as of 2010 would have totaled roughly 32-33 million by both UNPD and IPC figures.”  That’s more than 30 million young men around the world who have absolutely no chance of ever starting a family of their own and, oh yeah, more than 30 million women who never even got to be born.

These abortions have nothing to do with “choice,” “rights,” “lifestyle,” or any of the other usual Western tropes.  These 30 million babies were aborted simply because they were girls.  If they had been male, most if not all of them would have been carried to term and delivered.  Ironically, making abortion one of the vanguards of American feminism has resulted in a global trend that has purposely decimated the Earth’s female population.

My wife and I are expecting another baby in May.  I couldn’t be happier.  It’s a girl.

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2011: My Year In Self-Improvement

Posted in Living well, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 30, 2011 | 1 Comment »

I set out to check four things off of my bucket list this year.  One proved too arduous for now, and petered out in March.  I finished the other three.

One was seeing every film on AFI’s “100 Years, 100 Movies” list, except the R-rated ones.  Finally finished in July.  More on this next week.

Another was ministering to each of my home teaching families at church every month this year.  I didn’t always have a visit–I can’t control if people open the door or pick up the phone–but in past years I’ve gone months at a time without trying to contact people.  This year, everyone at least got a chance, and a lot of good work did come from it.

But the third thing was by far the coolest.  In fact, I consider it one of the best things I’ve ever done in life.  I surprised my wife with a romantic gesture every week for a year.

(more…)

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Demography Redux

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , , , , , on November 6, 2011 | 9 Comments »

A post at First Thoughts this week links to some recent rumblings over much of the world’s fretting about the global population reaching 7 billion, despite the fact that nobody seems to be worried that most nations now have a falling birth rate.

So which is it? Does the world have too many people, or too few? The most honest answer is probably that the threat of “overpopulation” is alarmist and emotion-based, whereas worries about declining birthrates are underappreciated, even though they are more grounded in hard facts. Indeed, if predictions like Kotkin’s play out, and emerging nations follow the demographic trends of advanced ones, the strange phenomenon of societies breeding themselves out of existence may no longer simply be a first world problem but a global one. It’s entirely conceivable that, 100 years from now, should the ‘birth dearth’ continue to spread, our progeny will look back nostalgically on earlier times when people fretted about “overpopulation.” Indeed, in a growing number of contexts, professional demographers already are.

Quite right.  As a teacher, I often hear people pay lip service to the trope that “children are our future,” but few seem to appreciate just how crucial that human capital is.  In the long run, fewer children must mean less of a future.

This reminded me of an exchange about demography on NPR about a month ago.  Even they’ve had a few stories in recent years about the dangers of falling birth rates, but a comment by the snob interviewer in this one irked me a little.  (more…)

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Defending Those Who Defend Marriage

Posted in Religion, tagged , , , on September 4, 2011 | 1 Comment »

Earlier this year, a Catholic Archbishop in New Mexico made controversial national headlines because he dared to teach his flock about the sacred importance of marriage.  Archbishop Michael J. Sheehan wrote in a pastoral letter:

We are all painfully aware that there are many Catholics today who are living in cohabitation. The Church must make it clear to the faithful that these unions are not in accord with the Gospel, and to help Catholics who find themselves in these situations to do whatever they must do to make their lives pleasing to God.

First of all, we ourselves must be firmly rooted in the Gospel teaching that, when it comes to sexual union, there are only two lifestyles acceptable to Jesus Christ for His disciples: a single life of chastity, or the union of man and woman in the Sacrament of Matrimony. There is no “third way” possible for a Christian.

The reaction was swift and brutal.  (more…)

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Yet More Research Shows That Cohabitation Hurts Kids

Posted in Politics and Society, tagged , , on August 19, 2011 | 1 Comment »

A new report this week documents the damage done to children who grow up in homes where parents live with partners without formal commitment:

In the latter half of the 20th century, “divorce posed the biggest threat to marriage in the United States,” sociology professor W. Bradford Wilcox and 17 other scholars said in a report released this week by the Institute for American Values’ Center for Marriage and Families and the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.

That is no longer the case, they said.

“Today, the rise of cohabiting households with children is the largest unrecognized threat to the quality and stability of children’s family lives.”

I’ve been beating this drum for a while.  What’s great in this article are the quotes from a woman who still wants to champion “alternative” families:

“Generalities about cohabiting are not particularly helpful,” said Ms. Schranz, a Unitarian Universalist minister in California.

“What matters is the quality of the relationships of the people cohabiting,” she said. “Just as there are poor relationships among cohabiting people, there are poor relationships among married people. The status of their relationship does not govern the quality of the relationship.”

“Generalities?”  You mean facts gathered from research?  Isn’t it funny when people want to rebut facts and research merely by repeating the wishful thinking of their fantasy world views?  Good grief, that’s the kind of narcissistic solipsism that got our society into this mess.

(more…)

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Parents Are Not Entertainers

Posted in Living well, tagged , , , , on August 5, 2011 | 1 Comment »

I used to love it when my children would come up to me and ask me to play with them.  This is what it’s all about, right?  Quality time, giving them your full attention, responding to their needs. 

But after a while I began to realize what was really going on.  Most of those requests for play time weren’t coming from a desire to be close or because they missed me.  They were just bored and wanted me to entertain them. 

My kids, like most children, I’m sure, frequently complain of boredom when they aren’t being actively entertained by something electronic.  As much as we limit their TV and computer time, they still yearn for them as their go-to way to pass the time in life.  Once their allotted time for those things has run out each day, I can often see a dull fear come over their faces, a lost and lonely cowering that says, “Now what?” 

And that’s when the pleading for more Daddy time comes in.  See, they never want Daddy time when they can watch TV or play a computer game; just when they don’t want to figure out what to do for themselves.

(more…)

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Notes on My Talk in Church Today

Posted in Religion, tagged , , , , , , on June 19, 2011 | 2 Comments »

Below are my notes from a talk I gave in my ward today, about fatherhood and priesthood.  I had to cut a few things out for time, most notably a story about President Monson’s father’s example of priesthood service with his son, and a paragraph about honoring my own dad.  The notes are choppy, but I think you could get the gist of it. 

*****

Thomas S. Monson quote:

My own father, a printer, gave me a copy of a piece he had printed. It was titled “A Letter from a Father” and concluded with this thought: “Perhaps my greatest hope as a parent is to have such a relationship with you that when the day comes and you look down into the face of your first child, you will feel deep within you the desire to be to your child the kind of parent your dad has tried to be to you. What greater compliment could any man ask? Love, Dad.” (“Treasured Gifts,” 12/06)

My version: tucking son in bed, feeling sentimental, tell him that someday he’ll grow up and we’ll be best friends.  He laughs and says, “Don’t be silly, you’ll be dead.”

Speaking on assignment from bishop about fatherhood and priesthood.

(more…)

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Terry Teachout On The Good Life

Posted in Living well, tagged , , , , on June 7, 2011 |

Terry Teachout is one of my favorite writers on the arts, but his recent visit to his home town seems to have made him even more eloquent than usual.  In this post, he shares that, while he left in the 70′s and has spent his adult life moving frequently and working in the spotlight, his brother stayed in their small home town, serving the community and raising a family. 

My brother and I, in short, have both led typical American lives. It is fully as American to stick close to home as it is to become a wanderer, but it’s the wanderers who get most of the press, perhaps because we’re the ones who write it–and I’m not so sure it should be that way. I left home to find myself, but my brother didn’t have to leave home because he knew who he was. I call my mother every night, but he sees her every day. I write books, but he has a grown daughter. I like to think that my work may ultimately prove to have some lasting value, but I’m sure that he’s done more to make the world a better place.

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